Inferiority

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Most of people will not read this article because they think inferiority is not something important. It’s one of the least interesting topic for many, yet I look at it as an important one, yet one of the most important ones.

Inferiority is more harmful than a lot of physical diseases. If you are ill, your illness will affect your body at first. If you allow the physical illness or disease to affect and destroy your soul, it’s then when it becomes harmful.

But inferiority affects your soul at first, and will immediately affect your body. You will do stuff that you don’t want to do, or not do the stuff that you want to do, only because you are facing inferiority.

The most damaging fact about inferiority is that it’s hidden. You won’t be able to recognize that you are facing inferiority no matter how hard you try. It needs a revelation from heaven.

I remember that I was subject to inferiority for almost eight years. After my parents were separated, I was so affected. Of course my older sister and younger brother might have been affected more than me, but I will just focus on the inferiority part that affected me.

When they decided to end their marriage – I was fourteen years old – it killed us emotionally. The idea of waking up and not finding your mom home, is something really hard. After that, I could only see myself as an unworthy person. I felt that I don’t deserve anything good. I felt that there is nothing good in me. I thought that now, people will love me because they will have pity on me, and not love me for who I am. I even stayed away from girls because I thought, “Who wants to be with a guy whose parents are divorced?”

I even started to treat people nicely, only because I thought they were better than me. I always saw myself lesser than others. I kept relationships that were harming me, only because I thought that no one wants to be my friend. I mean, those guys knew that my parents were divorced, yet they still wanted to be my friends. That was the world to me. So even when they were harming me, I forgave and forgot immediately with no second thoughts.

I thought forgiving and forgetting were the real Christian attributes. So in order to keep those relationships, I didn’t confront them.

My soul was crying out for freedom from this bondage but I never heard its voice.

Then, to hide the inferiority I had, I became proud. Pride began to fill my heart. Pride was so clear to me, and I started to pray about it, asking God to cast pride away from my life as fast as he casted Satan out of heaven. (Satan represents pride.) I prayed, I fasted, I cried out to God time after time to free me from pride, yet I never saw the real issue. I was so consumed by the pride, which was clear to me, and never paid attention to inferiority, which was not clear to me at all, until one day; I entered my room to have some time alone with God, as I used to do each day.

After I closed the door of my room, God spoke to me before I even said a single word. His words to me were so shocking. He said, “Joe, watch two extremes in your life. Pride and Inferiority.”

“Lord, pride is very clear to me, and I am trying to deal with it. But what about inferiority, I can’t see it.” I replied.

Then God began showing me images in my head. He showed me situations from my past where I was so inferior. He showed me all the things I mentioned above.

Then, He said, “I want you treat people nicely, and be kind to them, not because you are less than them, but because it is my will.”

When I heard those words, I asked God to help me overcome this battle.

Later that week, we had a meeting as a bible school interns, and we were talking about the things God was doing in our lives recently. I shared the same stuff I shared in this article, then, a student told me something that really helped me a lot.

She said, “Joe, pride and inferiority are two faces of the same coin. You will not find a pride person, who is not inferior.”

That was mind blowing!

Beloved, I urge you to ask God to reveal to you if you are facing such a thing as inferiority. Don’t take it slightly. Always check your motives when you do stuff – especially when you do them for people.

Read books, pray and allow God to change you. Trust me, you will become a mighty warrior in the kingdom of God. When God deals with your inferiority, pride will disappear immediately. You will be transformed into a different person, just as God wants you to be.

Blessings!

 

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